Video 1 - My Story, Your Story Group Discussion Questions (For husbands’ and wives’ groups) Andi and Karen describe the "invisible backpack" of stories and beliefs we carry from our family of origin. What is one belief from your upbringing that shows up in your marriage? Karen shares how an old instinct — "no one will defend me, so I must protect myself" — was triggered in a conversation with her spouse. Can you recall a moment when your reaction was stronger than the situation deserved? What past experience might have been behind it? Andi learned in childhood that "expressing emotions is dangerous," which made him guarded. What beliefs about emotions did you form growing up, and how do they affect your communication today? Karen says, "I learn more about myself in marriage than about marriage itself." How has your marriage been a mirror for you? What helps you notice when you are reacting from a past pattern instead of responding intentionally — and how can your spouse help in those moments? Submit your reflection form Couple's Checkpoint Challenge: Set aside 30–40 minutes to begin this journey by looking at where each of you comes from — and what you've built together. First, each of you privately marks 3 defining moments that shaped how you see love and trust — your "invisible backpack." Take turns sharing; the listener only receives, without defending or correcting. Then, on one sheet, draw your couple story timeline: 5–8 shared moments — connection points and distance points both. Close by each reading your North Star Goal aloud — the specific experience you want more of in your relationship. The listener only receives — no debate, no editing. You are not each other's opponents — the backpacks are. Agree on a "team phrase" (e.g., "Same team") for when old patterns rise during the weeks ahead.

Video 2 -We, Before I -Our Couple's Identity Group Discussion Questions (For husbands’ and wives’ groups) Andranik and Sandra see marriage not as "two halves making one whole," but as two whole individuals building something greater. Do you tend to look to your spouse to complete you — or to build with you? Five years of running workshops for teenagers taught them resilience and how to stick together. How has serving something beyond yourselves shaped your couple? They struggled for years over which country to live in — until they learned "to choose each other and our future before our own comforts." When have you had to choose your couple over a personal desire? Sandra describes the paradox of care: when we most need understanding, we often push it away — and the other must "hug the spiky one until the spikes go back." What do you look like when you're "spiky," and what actually helps? Andranik says that to offer something from the heart, "we first have to have it in our hearts." How are you caring for your own wholeness — and how does that affect what you bring to your marriage? Submit your reflection form Couple's Checkpoint Challenge: Set aside 30–40 minutes to begin this journey by looking at where each of you comes from — and what you've built together. Part 1 — My wholeness. Take turns completing these sentences: What fills me up as an individual — and what have I been neglecting lately is… One thing I'm working on in myself right now (my healing, growth, or happiness) is… Listen as each other's biggest fan — no fixing, just receiving. Part 2 — Our care plan for spiky moments. Each of you answers: How can you recognize when I'm "spiky" — and what actually helps me? (a hug? space first? words? tea in silence?) Write down each other's answers — that's your care plan. Next time one of you is hard to handle, you'll know what the spikes are asking for. Your "team phrase" from last week works here too. Date Night 1: Our Couple's Identity Week_2_Date_Night_1_Our_Couple_Identity.pdf

Video 3 - Talking So Actually Hear Each Other Group Discussion Questions (For husbands’ and wives’ groups) David admits that during arguments he was "preparing my defense" or even "preparing my escape" instead of listening. When your spouse raises a difficult topic, what do you tend to do — defend, escape, or listen? David said "You're right, let's move on" and thought he was doing well — yet Araceli didn't feel heard. Why is quick agreement not the same as understanding? Araceli says she wasn't blaming David — she just wanted him to understand how his decision affected her. How can we tell the difference between blaming and explaining impact? David avoided going deeper because talking about the mistake made him feel like "a bad person." What helps you separate a mistake from your worth as a person? The phrase that changed everything for them was "What I hear you saying is…" Araceli admits it can feel robotic — yet it made her feel truly heard. Would you try it? What might make it difficult? Submit your reflection form Couple's Checkpoint Challenge: Set aside 20–30 minutes to practice the reflective conversation from the video. One spouse shares something on their heart (start small). The other listens without interrupting, then responds only with: "What I hear you saying is…" The speaker confirms or corrects: "Yes, that's it" — or "Not quite, what I meant was…" Repeat the loop until they truly feel understood — several rounds is normal, not a failure. Then switch roles. Remember: understanding comes before solving, agreeing, or defending. Afterward, share briefly: How did it feel to be truly heard?

Video 4 - Everyday Life, Roles, Family Group Discussion Questions (For husbands’ and wives’ groups) The speakers challenge the idea that conflict is always bad. How have you tended to view storms or conflict Andrei and Diana say that in every season of marriage, something will try to become more important than the couple — work, children, ministry. What tries to become more important than your couple right now? Diana was frustrated by Andrei's divided attention, but criticism only made him defensive. Things changed when she named her exact emotions and needs. How do you usually express an unmet need? Andrei felt misunderstood: "Why don't you see that my work is important?" Have you ever felt your good intentions weren't recognized? What holds you back from intentional couple time, and how could you overcome it? How does the quality of your couple relationship affect your family, community, and mission? Submit your reflection here Couple's Checkpoint Challenge: Set aside 20–30 minutes to plan your "couple time" together. Take turns answering: In this season of our marriage, what tends to come before our relationship? What is one specific need I have that I may not have named clearly before? (Use "I need…" rather than "You never…") Then plan your next date night together — set the date, arrange the details, and agree on one rule: no work, no phones. Remember Andrei and Diana's experience: the first one may feel clumsy — that's normal. Connection returns with intention, not perfection.

Video 5 - God's Design for Sex Sex Through God's Eyes Group Discussion Questions: Amelia grew up unable to even say the word "sex" out loud — at home it was silence, at school "a dirty secret." What messages about sexuality did you absorb growing up, and how do they still echo today? Gabriel's mother surprised him: sex isn't only for making babies — it's "something nice, meant by God, for a couple to share their love." Was there a moment when your understanding of sex shifted from something shameful to something sacred? Gabriel says the "three no's" gave him a clear goal — he prepared for marriage looking forward to sharing love with his future spouse. Did you grow up seeing purity as a joyful preparation or as a restriction — and how did that shape your entry into the Blessing? True Father describes the union of true love as awakening every cell — nothing dirty, nothing shameful, but the dwelling place of God. How does hearing sexuality described this way, in True Parents' own words, change how you feel about your intimate life? Amelia says the culture around sexuality we carry in our marriage is what we pass on to our children. What culture around sexuality do you want your children to inherit from your home? Submit your reflection here Couple's Checkpoint Challenge: Set aside 20–30 minutes for a conversation many couples have never had — about what you each believe about sex, before ever discussing what you do. Begin by reading aloud together one of True Parents' quotes from this session. Then take turns completing these sentences: Growing up, I learned that sex is… (from my family / school / media) One belief about sexuality I want to release is… and one I want to embrace is… Listen without commenting — some of these things may be spoken for the first time. Close the way Amelia and Gabriel begin: invite God in. Say a short prayer together, thanking Heavenly Parent for designing this part of your marriage — not as something tolerated, but as something celebrated. Quote: “To whom is a man's sexual organ absolutely necessary? It exists for his wife. Each lives for the sake of the other. At the place where husband and wife become completely one, the ideal couple will be created. In that very place, absolute love exists. That place of love, which is absolutely unchanging, is the dwelling place of God. Fidelity in marriage, which we can call absolute sex, is centered on God, and free sex is centered on Satan. The human body is a microcosm of the universe. There are minerals, plant and animal substances within your small universe. When true love knocks at the door of the human body, all the billions of cells are immediately activated and become ecstatic. The five senses come alive—every cell of your lips wants to kiss your beloved; every cell in your eyes want to gaze into your lover’s eyes... Keep your eyes wide open and observe the life of males and females in the animal world. Consider also the coupling between pairs in the world of microbes, the world of cells and the world of minerals. Then, when you become the embodiment of true love, when every cell of your body and all your senses are alive with true love, what happens? You become like a gigantic magnet, pulling all the paired elements of nature to you. Everything will line up centering upon you because you are the center of true love. Everything in the universe responds to true love. Therefore, all the animals, plants, and minerals will follow you wherever you go. Nature will protect you and your loving family. In the original world of true love, there are no barriers. You enjoy total freedom. Wherever you go, you find only harmony and complete cooperation. (163:44, April 1, 1987)” Date Night 2: Closeness and Distance Week_5_Date_Night_2_Closeness_and_Distance.pdf

Video 6 - Physical Intimacy - Closeness, Touch & Desire Group Discussion Questions (For husbands’ and wives’ groups) Benjy and Hitoe came from opposite worlds: his family hugged daily; she hadn't been hugged by a parent since age five. How did your family of origin express (or not express) physical affection, and how does that show up in your marriage today? For years Benjy argued "you should, because you're my wife" — until he asked himself: "Do I want to be right, or do I want love in our relationship?" Where in your marriage might being right be costing you closeness? Benjy distinguishes tolerance (based in fear and giving up) from acceptance (based in love). What's the difference in practice — and what about your spouse have you been tolerating rather than accepting? Benjy is an initiator; Hitoe is a responder — and accepting that changed everything. He stopped taking a "no" personally and simply initiated again tomorrow. How do you handle the moments when your desire levels don't match? Benjy says their differences became something he's grateful for: physical affection that is "earned through patience and acceptance" is more meaningful, not cheap. Can you see one of your differences as a hidden gift? Submit your reflection here Couple's Checkpoint Challenge: This week's challenge has two parts — one conversation, one daily practice. Part 1 — The Physical Intimacy Inventory (20–30 min). Take turns completing these sentences honestly: The kind of physical touch I most enjoy (in and outside the bedroom) is… I tend to be more of an initiator / responder — and what helps me warm up is… Listen with curiosity, not defense. Many couples discover their spouse never actually knew what they most enjoy. If your desire levels differ, remember: mismatch is normal — name your "negotiated middle" openly instead of leaving it as silent tension. Part 2 — The daily practice (all week). Every day: one 6-second kiss and one 20-second hug. Not rushed, not symbolic — the full seconds. It's chemistry, not just romance.

Video 7 - Healing Sexual Shadows Group Discussion Questions (For husbands’ and wives’ groups) Sexual shadows are the fears and insecurities around sex we feel uneasy to admit. Where do you sense a shadow of your own? Guilt says "I did something wrong"; shame says "something is wrong with me." Which speaks louder in you? Sebastian shared what he never planned to, because "the trust was there." What makes it safe to say a hard thing in your marriage? Daria says a strong reaction to the small shares means the big things stay hidden. How do you respond when your spouse tells you something difficult? What would change in your intimacy if nothing between you stayed hidden? Submit your reflection here Couple's Checkpoint Challenge: Last week you spoke about what you enjoy. This week goes deeper — to what has been hard to say at all. Choose a calm moment, not a tired one, and set aside 30 minutes. Agree on the ground rules out loud first: listen without fixing or judging; speak in "I" statements; receive everything with grace. Then take turns — one shares fully before the other responds: One thing about intimacy I have felt insecure or ashamed about is… One thing I have wanted to tell you but never had the courage to say is… Start small if that's what feels possible. Small shares received with kindness make the bigger ones possible later. The listener's only response: "Thank you for trusting me with this." No advice, no fixing — that is the whole gift. Close with a prayer, inviting God into the parts of your marriage that have lived in the dark. Optional (week 7)_Date_Night_Money_Time_Priorities.pdf